You have come to the end of the internet,

Now go to bed.

Sticky Prose, Sickly Rose; pick the rose you want, I'm still in bed anyways.

I do not have a closet in my room, but a bed niche.

Painted yellow,

and plastered with prayers on paper--likely to be thumb-tack'd than taped.

Being sick, quite obviously, gets the best of me. It's grinding enough to be a selfish human being; but to be trapped in with a mind that speaks so shrill with pain and discomfort, when speaking at all, is the closest thing to Godless I've known. A well-known Hell. The first fruits of His creation seem secreted and sour. Oh how I need Him! I can't carry my own thoughts without catching a cold!

I only sit in my niche when I'm either in my right mind or sleeping. I don't have a lot of routine in my life anymore, so I make sanctuary space. My niche is my primary space. He holds it as Holy, and so do I... I try. In silence (or Satie!) I can look at Him as a child to a father, and ask so many questions! Or just as well be calmly comforted.

I can't sleep in my niche when I'm sick, I don't want to anyways. Stillness is so stale at a fever-pitch! But I miss it.

Sanctuary is sweet.

"Honey loving you is the greatest thing,

I get to be myself and I get to sing,
I get to play at being irresponsible,
I come home late and love your soul,
I never forget you in my prayers,
I never have a bad thing to report.

You're my picture on the wall,
You're my vision in the hall,
You're the one I'm talking to,
When I get in from my work,
You are my girl, and you don't even know it,
I am living out the life of a poet,
I am the jester in the ancient court,
And you're the funny little frog in my throat."

Tomorrow I'm getting up to go to a writing 'roundtable for the utmost purpose of glorifying Him and then another one with very different implements--as long as my car (literally) doesn't loose it's cool. I'm excited. Here's what I've been into:

When words themselves sing, I'm shaken.

Bring on the Cold

Sometimes I get restless

and watch youtube music videos into the wee of the nigh, which then turns into watching youtube covers songs, which then turns to caparisons, which then turns intoinsanitybylisteningtoallthecoversatonce

and creating an (fallen?) angel's choir. Push all the play buttons at once.

This one's my favorite. It's also the most awkward/touching.

I hope you have broadband! Cheers!

Want to start a band?

Just let me know if you operate on four legs or two. I'll make the further accommodations.

Vacation is almost here. I can taste the sweetly salted rest.

Weird prophecy makes me uneasy

Now, by no means am I claiming to have predicted ^^ le 'Bad' boy's ^^ death or anything of that (super)nature, but I did just happen to write a quick analysis of his work versus some contemporary artists JUST THREE DAYS AGO. So for kicks, I'm posting it on here. This essay is woefully under-developed and lacks citation, so be easy on me.

ASSIGNMENT 7: CONTENT ANALYSIS

By Amanda Satchwell

6-23-09

For this analysis, I will formally analyze today’s top 5 songs purchased on iTunes according to their individual genres.

The number one most-purchased mp3 on iTunes is a pop track from the Black Eyed Pea’s new album “The E.N.D. (Energy Never Dies)” called “I Gotta Feeling”.

Lyrics according to metrolyrics.com:

“I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night

that tonight's gonna be a good night

that tonight's gonna be a good good night (x4)

Tonight's the night night

Let's live it up

I got my money

Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it

Like Oh My God

Jump off that sofa

Let's get get OFF

I know that we'll have a ball

If we get down

And go out

And just loose it all

I feel stressed out

I wanna let it go

Lets go way out spaced out

and loosing all control

Fill up my cup

Mazal tov

Look at her dancing

Just take it off

Let's paint the town

We'll shut it down

Let's burn the roof

And then we'll do it again

Let's Do it (x13)

And live it up

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good good night (x2)

Tonight's the night(hey)

Let's live it up

I got my money(I'm payed)

Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it(smash it)

Like Oh My God(Like Oh My God

Jump off that sofa(c'mon)

Let's get get OFF

Fill up my cup (Drink)

Mazal tov (La' Chaim)

Look at her dancing (Move it Move it)

Just take it off

Let's paint the town(paint the town)

We'll shut it down(we'll shut it down)

Let's burn the roof(oh oh ohh)

and then we'll do it again

Lets do it (x15)

Let's live it up

Here we come

Here we go

We gotta rock

Easy come

Easy go

Now we on top

Feel the shot

Body rock

Rock it don't stop

Round and round

Up and down

Around the clock

Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday, and Thursday

Friday, Saturday

Saturday to Sunday

Get get get get get with us

You know what we say

Party every day

Pa pa pa Party every day

And I'm feelin

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good good night

I gotta feeling tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good good night”

The first thing I noticed about this song was the commanding and authoritative rhetoric. Declarative phrases were never qualified, giving the ever self-presenting “I” in the song a very dominating role. The song also featured very few adjectives--two in fact: “good” and “easy”. This made me question what the artists considered “good”. The rest of the song could only provide me with “easy” girls who “just take it off”. I’m not sure If I’d ever want to “get with” the Black Eyed Peas for a rousing “good” night out on the town.

The second song in the descending list is a hip-hop single by rapper “Drake” called “Best I Ever Had”. This song is the 3rd most-purchased mp3 on iTunes today and also wears the infamous “Explicit” tag.

Lyrics cited from elyrics.com

“Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.

We can do it real big.

Bigger then you ever done it.

You be up on everything.

Other hoes ain't never on it.

I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.

When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.

She make me beg for it till she give it up.

And I say the same thing every single time.

I say you the f******* best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the best i ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

I say you the f*******.

Know you got a roommate

Call me when its no one there

Put the key under the mat

And you know I'll be over there

(Yup) I'll be over there

Shawty, I'll be over there

I'll be hitting all the spots that u ain't even know was there

Ha. And you ain't even have to ask twice

You can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice

Always felt like you was so accustom to the fast life

Have a nigga thinking that he met you in a past life

Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on

That's when your the prettiest

I hope that you don take it wrong

You don't even trip when friends say you ain't bringing Drake along

You know that I'm working I'll be there soon as I make it home

And she a patient in my waiting room

Never pay attention to them rumors and what they assume

And until them girls prove it

I'm the one to Never get confused with Cause.

Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.

We can do it real big.

Bigger then you ever done it.

You be up on everything.

Other hoes ain't never on it.

I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.

When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.

She make me beg for it till she give it up.

And I say the same thing every single time.

I say you the f******* best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the best i ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

I say you the f******.

Sex, Love, Pain

Baby I be on that tank shit

Buzz so big i could probably sell a blank disk

When my album drop

Bitches will buy it for the picture

And niggas will buy it too and claim they got it for they sister

Magazine paper girl

But money ain't the issue

They bring dinner to my room and ask me to initial

She call me the referee

Cause I be so official

My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make yo p**** whistle

Like the Andy Griffith theme song

And who told you to put them jeans on

double cup love

You the one i lean on

Feeling for a fix then you should really get yo pheen on

Yea just know my condo is the crack spot

Every single show she out there repping like a mascot

Get it from the back

And make yo f****** bra strap pop

All up in yo slot until the nigga hit the jackpots

Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.

We can do it real big.

Bigger then you ever done it.

You be up on everything.

Other hoes ain't never on it.

I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

Cause she hold me down every time i hit her up.

When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.

She make me beg for it till she give it up.

And I say the same thing every single time.

I say you the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the f****** best.

You the best i ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

Best I ever had.

I say you the f******. “

Upon my first listen to this song, I believed that Drake’s devotion to his muse brought a billboard-topping artist back down to earth with the "sincerity" of the lines “Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on, That's when [you’re] the prettiest, I hope you don’t take it wrong”, but a closer listen to the second verse made me second-guess myself. Drake seems to qualify his devotion with the verse’s emphasis on that it’s his devotion--A highly successful, “buzz so big” rapper. When the lyrics are distilled further, the most used “adjective” is “f***ing”. This grammatical multitasker may put an emphasis on a point, but the word alone has a very precise meaning--”involving sexual intercourse” and “is generally considered vulgar”. While Drake could very well be implying that her sexual intercourse was the “best he ever had”, the ambiguity of his watered-down English leaves one to wonder his meaning.

It is also interesting to note that, besides “you”, “Hoe[s]” and “Baby” were the only names he called his supposed girlfriend. On a rhetorical perspective, the line “ I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.” becomes particularly significant. The placing and rhyming of the words “spend forever” and “spend whatever” give them equal significance. They do say that “time is money”.

The next song on my list is the 6th most bought track from iTunes today and is the number one track in the R&B/Soul category. Keri Hilson collaborates with Kanye West and rapper Ne-Yo to make “Knock You Down.”

Lyrics according to yoursonglyrics.com

“(Keri Hilson)

Not again

Oh this ain’t supposed to happen to me

(Kanye West)

Keep rockin and keep knockin’

Whether you’re louis vuittonin it up, or reebokin

You see the hate that they serving on a plater

So what we gon have dessert or disaster?

(Keri Hilson)

I never thought I’d be in love like this

When I look at you my mind goes on a trip

Then you came in and knocked me on my face

Feels like I’m in a race but I already won first place

I never thought I fall for you

As hard as I did (as hard as I did, yeah)

You got me thinking about our life

Our house and kids (Yeah)

Every morning I look at you and smile

Cause boy you came around

And you knocked me down (knocked me down)

Sometimes love comes around

(Love comes around, love comes around)

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Sometimes love comes around

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

(Ne-Yo)

I never thought

I hear myself say

Ya’ll gon hate

I think I’m going to kick

It with my girl today

I used to be commander-in-chief

For my pimp ship flying high

Till i met this pretty little missile

Who shot me out the sky

So now I’m crashing don’t know how it happened

But I know it feels so damn good

Said if I could go back

And make it happen faster

Don’t you know I would baby if I could

Miss independent, to the fullest

The load never too much

She helping me pull it

She shot bullet that ended that life

I swear to you the pimp in me

Just died tonight girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around

(love comes around, love comes around)

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Sometimes love comes around

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

(Kanye West)

Tell me now can you make past your caspers

So we could finally fly off into NASA

You was always the cheerleader of my dreams

To seem to only date the head of football teams,

And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing

We were never meant to be, baby we just happenedS

So please don’t mess up the trick,

hey young world, I’m the new slick rick,

They say I move to quick

But we can’t let this moment past us,

Let the hour glass pass right into ashes

Let the wind blow the ashes right before my glasses

So I wrote this love letter right before my classes

How could a goddess ask someone that’s only average,

For advice

O-m-g you listen to that bi****?

Woah is me, baby this is tragic

Cause we had it, we was magic

I was flying, now i’m crashing

This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson

Now I’m mad, real mad, Joe Jackson

You should leave your boyfriend now, I’ma ask him

Sometimes love comes around

(love comes around, love comes around)

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Sometimes love comes around

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

when it knocks you down (knocks you down)

knocks you down

knocks you down…”

The first noticeable trait in this song is the “love is war” allegory. The war that is appearing to be fought is Kari’s infidelity to her boyfriend (Ne-Yo?). In comparison, the repetition in this song, save the chorus, becomes extremely subtle compared to the other two songs I’ve reviewed so far. Ne-Yo’s line “I never thought I hear myself say, Ya’ll gon hate, I think I’m going to kick, It with my girl today”seems to imply that time spent with his girlfriend is unusual for him, perhaps an indicator of his time/value system of thought. The next like also states that he is the “commander and chief” of his “pimp ship”, another suspected blow towards respect for the opposite sex. When examining the underlying philosophy of the song, contained mainly within the chorus, the supposed meaning of “love that knocks you down” is not entirely clear when compared to my own common sense. Are her feelings toward Kanye the “love” that “knocks her down”? From what I have always been taught, love is as much a choice as a feeling. But maybe in her getting “back up” justifies her position. Overall, I sense a lack of respect towards the protagonist, a woman, and her relationship--from both Ne-Yo and Kanye.

While none of these song contain explicit use of violence, the prevalent attitude of disrespect and self-importance raises my flag of concern. This is presented to a young generation without any sort of explanation or guidance.

To compare these new hits with old ones, I will use Michael Jackson’s number one hit “Thriller”

Lyrics according to lyricsfreak.com

1st verse

Its close to midnight and something evils lurking in the dark

Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it

You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,

Youre paralyzed

Chorus

cause this is thriller, thriller night

And no ones gonna save you from the beast about strike

You know its thriller, thriller night

Youre fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

2nd verse

You hear the door slam and realize theres nowhere left to run

You feel the cold hand and wonder if youll ever see the sun

You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination

But all the while you hear the creature creepin up behind

Youre out of time

Chorus

cause this is thriller, thriller night

There aint no second chance against the thing with forty eyes

You know its thriller, thriller night

Youre fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight

Bridge

Night creatures call

And the dead start to walk in their masquerade

Theres no escapin the jaws of the alien this time

(theyre open wide)

This is the end of your life

3rd verse

Theyre out to get you, theres demons closing in on every side

They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together

All thru the night Ill save you from the terror on the screen,

Ill make you see

Chorus

That this is thriller, thriller night

cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try

Girl, this is thriller, thriller night

So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller

Thriller here tonight”

While this song has a more direct theme to violence, Michael’s lyrics provide redemption and a more revealing context of the “thriller” in the line “All through the night I’ll save you from the terror on the screen”. In this line alone, we know that he spends time with this girl and wants to protect her, providing this song with more substance of respect than any of the other songs I’ve reviewed combined. This is sad for the fact that this song was not meant to be deep, but merely projected itself as a soundtrack to a music video.

This general ambiguity towards love and respect alienates the generations towards each other, provides young men and women with false justification for greed in relationships, and lowers expectations of “artistry” and “meaning” to a casual, “easy”, “f***ing”, “good” time.

Though the "king of pop" may very well be dead, the King of all kings is alive and pursuing YOU.

In the midst of a bleary-eyed sneeze yesterday, I got a call from a 2nd Elder Beerman representative inquiring about a job interview. I hadn't really expected to hear back, considering this position was one of the only results on a Dayton Job Search that didn't require one form of extensive training or an other. My last interview with them ended with the lady saying, "just to let you know, 16 other clients applied for this job. But I like your shoes. They're super groovy."

I can only hope my acting skills are super groovy in about an hour and a half. This should sum it up quite appropriately:

Actor is marvelous and I'm a total sinner for already listening to it time and time again before the release date. Plus, Annie is so hott, FYI. 

"Actor" is set to release May 5th  via 4AD.

How precious the gift of the cross,

"...how splendid to contemplate! In the cross there is no mingling of good and evil, as in the tree of paradise: it is wholly beautiful to behold and good to taste. The fruit of this tree is not death but life, not darkness but light. This tree does not cast us out of paradise, but opens the way for our return."

It's been a bit, has it not? Hope your Good Friday was blessed.

I'm doing this as much for me as I am you.

Just because I'm impatient and love pretty much every single artist lined up on the upcoming "Dark is the Night" compilation, I'm posting all these here widgits to get a taste (feast) of what's to come. enjoy!

My home.

I could tell you every window of every shop that the camera looks out of in this video. I've sat in the same booth countless times that the bus driver sits in. The computer that I'm typing on was bought with those people's health insurance money. I've eaten, served, laughed and loved in that soup kitchen. This is my home.

Old Friends Greet with a Kiss on the Lips

Lately, I've been mildly obsessed with Leonard Cohen. I'm thinking it was because I was so excited about my AP poetry class commencing again (it was canceled due to low enrollment :[ ) and I just really craved uncovering allegories and stringing symbolism back together again. I like Judy Collins too, just separate I think. Especially in this first song. She slows the pace of the song with her windy, though beautiful, harmonies and dampens the waltz-y, poet-serenade quality that made me fall in love with the song. But the fact that they sang the song all night in a hotel together is a picture too wonderful to dismiss.

As a duet, Suzanne works perfectly. Plus,

The resemblance is uncanny.

Sorry the writing in this post is so rough. I have post-nap brain fog. Goodnight.

Beatloafing

Today was a big nothing day. I planned on maybe going to see Department of Eagles tonight, but I think the cold weather got the best of me in the end. So I enjoyed them from afar. Actually, I mostly enjoyed them spliced and diced today ala The Hood Internet:

lolersauce.

I also streamed two old favorites Andrew Bird and M. Ward's new albums via NPR's website. How can anyone not like either one of them? I wish I could whistle.

Shopping bright and early tomorrow!~ Sweet dreams.

Ambition for dishin'

I found this young gentlemen's blog and thought it was worth sharing. As far as sass, he's ahead of the class. Someone should take a gourmet course with me in the near future, seriously. SERIOUSLY. no joke.

Artwork by Maria Kalman. I own everything she's ever published in book format. And, like above, that's NO JOKE. Sometimes, I'm a fanatical zealot.

Progressive

In my Psychology 122 course, Ms. Anne is covering the fundamentals of personal development. Even though we've hardly covered the grounds of prenatal development (don't drink and make babies, folks), I've given a lot of thought to our childhood experience and how it develops the basis of our current personality and, more specifically, our tastes. And as an aspiring music and art connoisseur, it's only natural to apply this thought to taste in music.

To me, it would be almost inefficient to "get to know" someone's musical taste without at least a brief synopsis of that person's history. Early history. What phases did that person go through? What was your family life like? What did the people around you listen to? Your parents. Your father. That best friend's older brother you secretly admired. That odd album you just happened to stumble upon as a lil' sprout that opened 10,000,000 doors to you later on.

With this question in motion, I'll try to paint a broad picture of my early musical experience here on this blog, in phases; First very early to the modern. An opinion is just an opinion without a context and I hope to provide that setting for anyone with the will to read this.

To be continued....

Music of the right now-right now: Gang Gang Dance - House Jam : I've had this track on multiple computers before I could really dig deep into it. The loose structure makes it just atmospheric to listen to when multitasking and not get too too distracted but the  loops and the (I dare to say) Madonna-esque vocals give me something to pay attention to when I really want to. I may invest in this album, finally.  

Wood painting by Andrew Brandou.